Я решила поделиться своими лирическими опусами на английском из цикла 'Lilac kimono'. Два первых из них здесь когда-то где-то имели место быть. Третье и четвертое - это попытка стихотворного перевода вот этого и этого.
ILilac kimono
He wraps her in the sorrow
Plain and lasting like the silk
And grief is spread beneath her
Dried and silent like a desert.
He spared her once from death,
He was a cruel savior.
And tears full of regret
Stream down the pallid face.
Farther than the horizon,
He seeks his own belief.
So far and without her
In ever roaming thoughts.
She was a barren flower
On his untrodden path.
Admired for a moment
And simply cast aside.
II***
The color of the silver moon above
Is brighter than your pallid hands
Flitting around like a pair of doves
They disappear without a trace.
Barely touching, those silk arms
Meet one another in the snow.
The white dust swirls and lies
So gently on the pearly brow.
Like lovers, two swords dance
Across the chilling air.
Blades cut through flowing lace,
The feelings that we share.
The tragic breath escapes
It's stifled by the death
And yet, your smile stays
To swallow the red path.
IIIThe imperative letter*
When leaving, leave every place. And please, gently stifle the candle. Your shadow for freedom… a doubtful exchange. No traces! Erase the dream reddle. Don't cast that final glance in the end. I was never a beggar in need for a dole. I heard your Judas' remorse: faith… never meant. Forbid the farewell Gomen once for all. Get lost within the non-existence void. Transform each memory moth into dust. Forever fall silent on that muted note. Forget every single way back at last. Do not utter confessions at sunsets for I've ceased to be your sacred icon. Penelope really hates weaving torments in thousands. And I… I no longer wish to be Madonna in iron. Through my chest, pierce the heart and tear the destiny thread, sewn in veins, in my very blood. For I can not turn you out, myself, I solely whisper: "Leave, go away, disavow…"
* Это стихи в прозе
IVLacrimosa
I'm choked with autumn chilling wind.
The rustling leaves beneath my feet.
Behind the crimson-gold of trees
The grand wall sinks to barren leas.
There, where the weeds are laid like silks,
In rivulets the life wine streams
Beast rests amidst the crows rich feast:
It's you who sleep, it's you who sleep.
Your blade is sated with a fatal kiss,
It gulped in passion poisoned seas
And paid the tribute to the bored field,
Grateful and glad of the ill-fated gift.
The heart grows numb and gazes meet,
More than enough for sounds to freeze
My only want: it were not heaven's will,
So I repeat, so I repeat…
- Gin…Gin…Gin… Ichimaru Gin…
Enchanted name with a queer ring,
Your mother sewed a black sin into it.
And I…I could not dispel anything.
The last words… I suddenly hear:
- Such tardy tears, Rangiku!
Again the lonesome man leaves:
- Just this once…cry for me, my kiku...
V
That morning hour, winter dawn…
My heart remembers your return:
All I could see was you alone,
You, and the black wings on snow.
Words, whispered in decisive tone,
So firm, so cold, like icy bonds.
It felt forlorn, it felt so wrong.
You had to leave, I had to mourn,
I stood, my knees deep in the snow.
I cried and cried over the soul,
Gone by the wings from our home
The cruel wings, pitch-black as coal…
On winter nights it snowed and snowed.
VI
I just wanted to bring you the perfect gift:
And caught a whole world under my sleeve,
Too giant and full, it tore through.
So I had no choice but to make it swift
To heavens and reach for the Moon with my spear,
But its sickly shine turned untrue.
With my insolent hands the Sun was lift,
It burned skin to ashes, the breath got too sear,
Thus I wisely let it back hang in blue.
Foolish me, not aware of your only need,
Neither moon, nor sun and nor world
In Dear’s fantasies seemed to appear.
I should have simply given you Love.
VIITwelve were beside you, now there’re none,
Decided Deicide, the archetype outcome.
Was Gin your private Judas from the start?
His sacrifice meant suicide, all right.
He never pledged loyalty to any of the Sides,
Bifacial traitor stayed devoted to old ties.
And to that promise buried in blue eyes.
What crime is it to steel back from the Thief?
He paid the painful price: he had to leave
The shiny precious jewel, his life pith.
The symbol for despair is marigold,
He crushes clay and resurrects the God.
The hollow God who is nobody's Lord.
It’s you who triumph, but he sighs
For headless Nika soars too high,
Mad deity presages: End is nigh.
The destined soon arrives in newly light,
And with a glance the fallen blesses holy fight.
VIIIThere's no more shuddering from cold
Of lonely nights, from howling of the blizzards.
He took away with him those winter storms,
Erased all traces like a decent wizard.
He didn't left me any chance of reaching
He showed me pointlessness of waiting.
So I'm not stopping,
I'll be walking…
In a new direction,
I'll follow my perfection.
Praying, on my soul I pour the balm,
My hands are warm, my mind is calm.
A snowflake's crying on my palm.